


Fall Where They May

by Courty



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Forgiveness, Hurt, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courty/pseuds/Courty
Summary: ***Formerly "Shattered".When Luke’s father drops a bomb on his family that blows their lives to smithereens, Luke only has one person he wants to see: Julie. But when his pain leads them farther than they ever meant to go, it’s up to him to pick up the pieces of their shattered friendship. But maybe this will be what forces him to finally be honest with himself about where his heart can truly begin to heal.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 50
Kudos: 125





	1. Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Hey-oh, fellow travelers! 
> 
> I want to preface this with a small message: I do not think Mitch is this kind of person. At all. But, I wrote this story for my go-to OCs when I was in college and that was where the story started, so I kept it. 
> 
> Also, please forgive the couple of instances where my verb tense gets screwy or I *gasp* start a sentence with a numeral! I'm SUPER new to AO3, and have no idea how to make my italics stick when I copy my work over (curse iPads to the pit). 
> 
> Anywho, here’s to fic numero uno!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~Courty

“I’m sorry.”

Luke hadn’t prayed in weeks. God wasn’t exactly his favorite person at the moment. But at that moment he prayed, harder than he’d prayed for anything, that Julie would yell at him. He wanted her to call him names, to say she hated him, to scream, “Luke, get the hell off my porch and out of my life!” Anything to know that she at least felt something. But, like always these days, God just wasn’t listening. And the silence was deafening. 

The last night they saw each other crashed back into his mind for the millionth time, and for the millionth time it brought pain, guilt, and something… else. Something he was too big a coward to name. 

***

It was a Tuesday, and his mom had made cedar grilled salmon, Luke’s favorite meal. Somewhere between the pasta salad, the green beans, and the salmon, his dad said he was leaving them and moving to Chicago with his pregnant mistress, also known as Emily’s best friend. 

Luke’s chest went cold. He couldn’t breathe. His mom looked like she was going to throw up. 

And his dad? He just shrugged. “Could you pass the peas?” 

No. No, Luke couldn’t. In fact, there was no way he could stay in the house with Mitch. Emily was a chef. There were too many knives. 

He didn’t remember running out of the house or starting his truck, but by the time he realized what he was doing, he was pulling into Julie’s driveway. 

What was wrong with him? What was he going to say to her? “Hey, sorry for dropping by, but my dad is leaving my mom for her knocked up, former best friend, and I think I may kill him. Do you have any ice cream?” Yeah, that would work. 

But the longer he sat and thought about it, the more he realized it would work. Julie had been his best friend since they were six, and over the years they’d become a safe haven for each other. He was right by her side for days when she got the call that her mom had been paralyzed from the waist down in a car accident. She never left him when he’d shattered his left hand in a fall and learned that he may never get full range of motion back. And that he may never play guitar again. They’d been each others’ rocks, time and time again. 

He knocked until she opened up, and, in spite of what had just happened, he laughed. His world had been flipped over and smashed to bits, but Julie looked more like herself than he’d ever seen. From her fluffy ponytail to her giant L.A. Rams t-shirt to her bright blue sweatpants with tiny green frogs to her monster slippers, everything about her screamed normal. And he needed normal. 

She reached into the giant bowl of popcorn perched on her hip and popped a handful in her mouth. “You’d better have a good excuse for interrupting Bones.” 

He had something to say back. He always did. But when he opened his mouth, all that came out was a pitiful sob. Perfect.

Julie blinked. She hadn’t seen him cry in years. He’d done everything he could to make sure no one did. But it didn’t phase her for more than a second. She stepped out of her door and pointed to her couch. He walked in and sat. 

She sat next to him and laced her fingers through his. It wasn’t the first time they’d held hands, but something about this time felt different. He’d never noticed how small her hands were, how soft. How innocent. 

Luke swallowed down a bout of nausea. Innocence. What a simple concept everyone took for granted. His dad had ripped his out of him with one sentence, and he knew he’d never be the same person he was an hour before. 

She squeezed his hand. He didn’t have to look at her to know what she meant. _Cry. Talk later. Just cry._

Time disappeared. He let go of every bit of sorrow and anger he had. She wrapped an arm around him but stayed silent, and despite her embrace, he felt completely alone. 

He cried until his head was about to split open. He finally leaned back and raked a hand over his face, sniffing hard. “I’m sorry about your shirt.” 

Julie looked down at the huge tear stain on her shoulder and laughed. “I think I’ll survive the trauma.”

With her hand still in his, she stood up and pulled him to his feet. “Come on, Luke. That is one gorgeous night outside, and we haven’t gone stargazing in years.” 

He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nodded. 

A smile curled the edges of her mouth and Julie ran to her hall closet. Two enormous blankets flew at Luke’s head, and he barely managed to catch them. It nearly knocked him over. She didn’t notice. 

“Take those to the backyard. I’ll go get us some sweatshirts.” 

It didn’t hit him until he opened her backdoor that he forgot a jacket. The night air sent goosebumps up and down his bare arms, and for just a minute, he forgot everything. Fall was his favorite time of year. Something about it sang to him, using music only he could hear. Whether it was Halloween, Thanksgiving, or just a weekend hiking, something about Fall made him feel alive. 

Now?

“Brought you something!” 

This time whatever piece of cloth she tossed at his head hit its mark. “Jules!” 

She giggled. “What? I told you I’d find you a sweatshirt.” 

“Yeah, but it needs to go over my head, not slam into it.” 

She shrugged. “Eh, details.” 

When he pulled the thing over his head, I noticed the screen print on the front. “USC Trojans.” No. He checked the sleeve, and sure enough, it had a huge hole in the right cuff, right where his thumb would fit. “I lost this two years ago. Did you have it this whole time?” 

Julie grinned. “Hey, you left it here. I just sort of adopted it.” 

“I’ve been over here four million times. It never occurred to you to tell me?” 

“Not particularly.” 

An easy joy swelled in his chest as they sat and looked up at the stars. Julie always said her place was half way past the middle of nowhere, and the number of stars sprinkled through the sky proved her point. She pointed out Pegasus and told him the entire myth behind the magnificent flying horse. She did the same for every constellation she could find, be it Andromeda, Pisces, Aquarius. Once she ran out of actual stories and constellations, she made them up about constellations that were no longer visible at this time of year. His favorite was the one about the Big Dipper declaring its independence from Ursa Major and pulling the other stars and constellations into a revolution against the Mad Bear Tyrant. It was amazing, and for a while, he almost felt like himself again. 

But, like everything, Julie’s imagination eventually ran out, and her stories couldn’t numb the pain any longer. Luke picked at a loose string on one of the blankets, fresh tears pricking at his eyes. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened now?” 

Letting her in was as easy as breathing. He’d dreaded the moment she asked that question because he thought reliving it would be a slow torture. But he couldn’t stop talking once he’d started. 

When he finished, her jaw hung almost to her chest. “And this has gone on for how long?” 

“I had just graduated high school when it started. He’s been seeing her every other weekend for four years.” 

“So all those conferences and business trips he said he was going on…”

“He never even left town. Spent every one with Sandy in some luxury apartment complex he doesn’t have the money to rent. All while Mom sat at home and prayed he’d come back safely.” Before Luke could think, his fist connected with the ground and he swore a string of curses meant for someone who no longer cared. “How could he do this to her?” 

The tears burned again, and he didn’t fight them as he collapsed onto his back. He hated his father. He’d never hated anyone or anything so much in his life. 

A warm presence pushed up against his side, and he looked down to see Julie curled up next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. Her eyes, normally a soft brown, were deep black in the moonlight. They were beautiful. Just like her. 

Something inside him stirred. A part of his heart began to ache, a dull pang that made his chest feel too big and too small all at once. He didn’t know what it was. Or maybe he did. But he was too scared to say the words, his wounds too fresh, too open, and too bloody.

He reached for Julie and pulled her closer to him, desperately searching her eyes. He watched them fill with a deep tenderness, then, before he thought about it too much, pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. She gasped and drew back. At first her eyes were wide with shock, but sadness softened her features until she watched him like someone would watch an injured animal. Luke felt sick again. He couldn’t handle pity right now, especially not from her. 

He kissed her again, and this time she kissed him back. It wasn’t the “fireworks-bells-and-Hallelujah-chorus” thing books said it was. It was raw and messy, and with each slip of her lips against his, the ache in his chest grew into a hunger he was sure would rip through his ribcage and devour him whole. 

It wasn’t enough. He leaned further over her and pressed her to the ground. 

She pulled away and slid her hands between them. “Luke, wait, I know you’re upset, but-” 

He saw the exact moment she truly understood how little life was left inside of him. He was so close to her he could see his reflection staring back at him from her black eyes. He looked cracked and fragile, like an old piece of china teetering on a knife's edge. 

A small part of Julie broke. Maybe it was her heart; maybe it was her resolve. Whichever it was, they both knew what was going to happen, and neither of them was going to do a thing to stop it. 

Luke brushed his nose against hers, then pressed his lips to her ear. “Please, can we stop talking now?” he whispered as he pulled the second blanket over them. 

“Okay,” she whispered back, pulling him into another kiss. 

Not a single part of him was spared the agony his heart shot through his body. He hurt in places he didn’t know existed, and all he wanted was for someone to hurt as much as him. 

He lost himself in the night, aware of nothing but soft skin, agony, and tears he wasn’t sure were all his. But he didn’t care. All he wanted was release. 

He moved.

She moved.

And they both shattered. 

Luke woke up wanting to crawl under a rock and die.

His clothes lay on the ground next to him, thrown away without a thought the night before. He fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. _7:34 a.m_ blinked back at him. 

The sun had barely risen, and the sky burned with clouds painted incredible hues of pink, orange, and purple. Morning birds that hadn’t flown South quite yet sang in the treetops. It was going to be a beautiful day. 

Then he looked to his right. 

Julie lay next to him. She shivered in the morning chill, so small and brittle and vulnerable. She was still asleep, but tears glistened in the corners of her eyes, each one screaming the same thing over and over. 

_What have you done?_

He was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to be strong for her. He was not supposed to-

Luke had to leave. He couldn’t face Julie, not after what he’d done. He got up and dressed as quickly and quietly as possible. 

_She deserves a note._

He searched his pockets, but couldn’t find anything to write on. She took a deep breath and rolled over, and he panicked. A text would have to be enough for now. He sent it, pulled the blanket over her shoulder, and left.

He’d talk to her tomorrow. He’d know what to say by then.

But the entire drive home all he could think about were the two words he’d sent.

_I’m sorry._

***

Luke winced. He really was an idiot.

That had been six weeks ago. One thousand and eight hours without a word to the most important person in his life. And those were the last words he’d said to her. How could he let them be the first ones he said since they made…

Made what? Could he call it making love? Was that what this was? 

He had no answer.

Julie just glared at him from her front door. 

“Please say something.” 

She shook her head. He didn’t blame her. 

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he didn’t bother to brush it away. Her gaze broke, flickering between concern and flint. It was like she wanted to reach out to him, even after everything he’d put her through. That was how she’d always been. And he’d hurt her.

After another couple of minutes of silence, he knew she wasn’t going to budge. He turned around and started back to his truck. It was the weak thing to do, but he didn’t know what else to say. He’d tried to figure out what he’d say to her for six weeks, and nothing had come to him. 

“Luke.” 

Her voice was as thin and frail as a spider web. He looked back, and she was crying. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. 

Then her hand went to her stomach. 

And he understood. 

No. 

“You’re… you’re…” His throat closed. 

Julie nodded. 

He glared at the ground. In the past few weeks, he’d found one person he hated more than he hated his dad: himself. And he didn’t think it was possible to hate himself anymore than he already did. Boy, was he wrong. What the hell had he been thinking?

_You weren’t._

Something inside him snapped. He stepped back up on the porch and grabbed Julie’s hand. And he smiled. It was small, and it hurt, but it was there. 

His dad decided a long time ago that what he wanted mattered more than the vows he’d made to Luke’s mother on their wedding day or to Luke on the day he was born. But Luke? No. He was not going to be like his father. His father ran when his mistakes finally caught up with him. Luke was going to stand right here where he belonged: next to Julie.

“I’m going to make this right.” 

She stared at him for a long time, much longer than she had before. Incredulity tightened the corners of her eyes, and for a moment, he thought she was going to slam her door in his face. But she finally squeezed his hand back. 

Promises were strong, dangerous things, and he didn’t like making them unless he knew beyond doubt that he could keep them. But he made a promise, to Julie, himself, and even God, that he would do everything in his power to atone for his selfishness. And to show Julie how much he truly did… 

Wow. He loved her, didn’t he? Huh. But then, that was the only thing that made sense at this point. It was why she was the first person he went to when his world blew apart. It was why she was the only person he wanted with him when he finally figured out how to put it back together.

Would they get married? Would they be together forever? He didn’t know. 

But he was going to try.

Julie squeezed his hand again, and this time her own hesitant smile accompanied it. It wasn’t quite forgiveness, but it was enough for now. And with that, one tiny piece of them fell back into place.


	2. Across the Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Julie have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o, fellow travelers!
> 
> As promised, I did what I could and came up with more story. And I must say, I don’t hate it. 
> 
> The angst is still a smidge heavy in this chapter, but fear not, the sun will shine again. 
> 
> Take care, and enjoy!!!
> 
> ~Courty

Silence hung between them like a curtain. The anger in Julie’s eyes had receded, but there was still a wall there that twisted Luke’s stomach into a thousand tangled knots. They’d never had walls before, never had secrets. He and Julie knew everything there was to know about each other. Everything. In all the years they’d been friends, their souls had never been more than an inch apart. 

But that was before the shards of his broken heart had sliced through Julie and shredded the beautiful life they’d cobbled together with laughter, tears, and unquestioned trust. Now there was a chasm between them, and Luke had no idea how they were going to cross it. They’d never be the same, that went without saying. Things between them had irrevocably changed, and no amount of hope or forgiveness could ever undo that. 

Luke couldn’t take it anymore. He had no idea what he wanted to say, but he had to say something. “Julie,” he began. 

She squeezed his hand and shook her head, releasing a deep breath. Without a word, she pulled him through her front door and up the stairs. He followed, fear prickling across his skin. He didn’t know what the plan was here. 

But he was supposed to; they were so in sync he always knew what the plan was, even before Julie told him. His heart twisted again at the thought of another aspect of Julie he’d have to completely relearn. 

Julie led him down the hallway, toward her bedroom. Fear shifted to panic, but he stayed quiet and let Julie do what she wanted. It was the one thing he knew he could do for her right now, and he clung to that with an iron grip. 

They slipped through her bedroom door and, still clinging to his hand, she pushed her door closed. Luke almost smiled. Good, she still hated leaving doors open, and he clung to that one fact like a life line. At least that one thing hadn’t changed. 

But when Julie turned to him again, any hope he held died away. Gone was the girl, the one who wore bright friendship bracelets around her wrists and stupid monster feet slippers and had a heart as big and as open as the sky. In her place stood a woman so careworn and sad that all she could do at the moment was stand and hope she didn’t collapse. 

Another surge of hatred tore through him; he’d done this. Nothing about what had happened was anything but his fault, and he couldn’t stop the boiling rage that seeped into his bones. 

Julie moved, pulling him out of the spiral he’d fallen into as she tugged him over to the right side of her unmade bed. She still hadn’t spoken, but she made what she wanted clear as she pushed him to a sitting position on that side of her bed, then continued to push his shoulders until he lay flat on his back. 

Julie moved to the other side of the bed and laid down next to him. Luke thought she was going to finally speak, but nothing. He missed her voice. No word in any language could express how much he missed her voice. 

Instead she grabbed his right hand and tugged him to roll toward her onto his side, pulling his hand across her stomach and lacing their fingers together. She scooted back until her back was completely flush with him, her head tucked up under his chin. 

They lay there for… Luke didn’t care how long. Julie was in his arms, and she wanted to be there. That was all that mattered. He closed his eyes, drawing in deep breaths that matched hers. For just a moment, he could pretend that this was what it should have been all along; that he told Julie he loved her a long time ago, that she loved him back, and that they were just taking an afternoon nap after a long morning. 

“I woke up alone, Luke.” 

Those words crumbled his fragile illusion into dust, and he was hit with the first taste of how much pain Julie had endured over the last six weeks. 

“Jules-”

“I should be used to that. I’ve always woken up alone. And I’ve never felt like I was less because of it. But…” Luke felt her shiver. “But after…” She paused, swallowing back a sob.

Luke trembled, unable to control his shame. Tears flowed freely down his face, wetting Julie’s hair. 

“Luke, I trusted you. I trusted you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. Especially that night. I knew us sleeping together was a mistake from the beginning, but I never doubted that you’d at least be there to face it with me in the morning.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “But when I woke up, you were gone. And I was alone. For weeks, I was alone. You abandoned me.” 

Her grip on his hand tightened until it was almost painful. He didn’t move. 

“And then I realized I was two weeks late.” She gave a small laugh. “You know, it’s ironic, really. The moment I saw the plus sign on that test and realized I wasn’t waking up alone at all was the loneliest moment of my life.” 

Julie curled in on herself, the movement pressing his hand deeper into the firm flesh of her stomach. He had to bite his cheek to keep from gasping. 

The reality of the situation finally hit him, and terror tore at his insides. He’d figured it out on the porch, but he hadn’t taken the time to fully process it before. Now he couldn’t stop it from crashing through his mind anymore than rocks could stop water. 

Julie was having a baby. His baby. And the first thing he’d done for either of them was run away. 

Mitch would be so proud. 

Well, Mitch could have that. Luke was done running. 

“Julie,” he tried again.

“Luke, if you tell me you’re sorry one more time, I swear-”

“I’m not. But I need to know something.” He backed up a little and pulled on her waist, rolling her to face him. She came without a fight, but Luke could tell it wasn’t easy for her. He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “What do you need? Right this moment, what do you need? Name it and it’s done.” 

She glared at him, but laid her hand on his cheek. He leaned into her touch, waiting. She was silent for a long time, and he could see the inner battle she fought reflected in her eyes. Finally, she blew out a long sigh. “I don’t know. Seeing you right now is killing me.”

That hurt, but he deserved it. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. “What do you want me to do?” 

She sniffed. “I want you to leave.” 

That hurt worse. The only thing he wanted to do was keep her wrapped in his arms, safe from everything, even him. The thought of leaving was like putting his skin on backwards. Everything about it was wrong. But if leaving was what she needed him to do, then, as awful as it would be, he would. 

“Okay.” The word was like coughing up glass. 

He moved to untangle them, but Julie’s arm snaked around his waist, holding him firmly in place. “I want you to go, Luke. But you have to stay.” Her body trembled, much like his, and when he finally found her gaze again, her eyes glowed with terror. 

“Julie?” 

“I can’t wake up alone again, Luke. Not like that, not ever.” Her fierce glare sliced right through his soul. “You cannot do that ever again.” Tears flowed down her cheeks, each one carving new slits into his heart. 

He shook his head. “I won’t. As long as I’m breathing, you won’t wake up alone again.” 

He hated that he’d done this to her. His Julie was fearless, willing to take on anything and anyone with a fire that could not be quenched, always twenty steps ahead of him but making sure she didn’t leave him behind. She was the beacon he followed home when his broken hand and shattered dreams sent him into one of his dark spirals. She was the one who told him that just because he couldn’t play music right now, it didn’t mean they couldn’t still make music, and it didn’t mean that it was forever. She was the one who remembered that hope was always alive, even in the darkest of nights. 

He pulled her closer. She tucked her head into his chest and, finally, relaxed. “Good.” She squirmed back a little and met his eyes one more time. “This isn’t me forgiving you. I’m still furious. You do know that, right?” 

“I know.” But she was here. And so was he. And that was all that mattered at the moment. “Anything else you need?” 

She snuggled back into him and closed her eyes. “A nap. I’ve been throwing up since three this morning.” 

Luke reached down to her rumpled comforter and pulled it over the two of them. “Then go to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” 

“Promise?” 

He didn’t even need to think as he rubbed her back. “I promise.” 

***

Beams of late afternoon sun pulled Luke from his nap a few hours later. Julie was still asleep, her deep, even breathing the only sound in the room. She’d rolled onto her back while they slept, raising her shirt and moving Luke’s hand from her back to her bare stomach. 

He watched his hand move up and down with each of her slow breaths, and another tremor moved through his body. He stroked Julie’s soft skin with his thumb, imagining the baby growing just under his hand. 

As slowly as he could, he moved down so that his head was level with her stomach, curling his arm to pillow his chin. He continued to stroke Julie’s stomach, keeping his touch soft so he didn’t wake her up. 

“Hey, there, kiddo,” he whispered, swallowing around a hard lump in his throat. He drew in a shaky breath, once again not sure what he wanted to say but desperate to speak. “I know we haven’t met yet, but…” His voice caught. He tried again. “But I’m your…” 

No. No, it should not be this hard to say the word out loud. He’d said it millions of times in his life but only about someone he could no longer stomach the sight of and never about himself. He wasn’t sure he would ever say it about himself. Yet now he was. 

Luke drew in another deep breath and steeled himself. 

Time to own it. 

“I’m your dad.” 

As soon as the words left his lips, a blaze of joy unlike anything he’d ever known flooded every part of him from his toes all the way to the tips of his hair. A breathy laugh escaped his throat. “I’m your dad,” he repeated, the wonder in his voice clear even to him. 

Just like before, when he’d first figured out Julie was pregnant and decided he was going to try to make whatever was between them now work, something inside him snapped, like another tiny piece of him had slipped back where it belonged. He brushed his lips against Julie’s stomach, right next to his thumb. 

“I’m going to take care of you, kiddo. You and your mom.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against her side. “I already love you both so much.” 

“You know the baby won’t be able to hear you for at least twenty more weeks, right?” 

Tender fingers danced through his hair, and Luke looked up to see Julie awake and smiling down at him. 

He shrugged and leaned his cheek against her stomach. “It doesn’t mean I can’t start talking now.” A small shaft of panic shot through his chest. “How long have you been awake?” 

“Just now. What were you saying anyway?” 

Relief softened his stiff muscles. She hadn’t heard him. Good.

It wasn’t like he was ashamed of loving her, but he didn’t think she was ready to hear it yet. And he wasn’t ready to say it yet, either. 

“That’s between me and the nugget, thank you very much.” He sat up and crawled back to the head of the bed, pulling her to him and snuggling them down again. An unpleasant but necessary thought weedled into the back of his mind. “We should tell our parents.” 

Julie sighed into his chest and nodded. “Yeah. The sooner the better.” 

“Do you want to tonight?” 

Julie thought for a second, then shook her head. “No. Tonight, I just want to try and keep down my food and…” She hesitated, an unsure gleam in her brown eyes. 

Luke tilted his head. “What?” 

She kept her eyes glued to his t-shirt. “We should probably head to your place and get you a few things. Toothbrush, clothes… Stuff like that.” 

Luke raised his head a little more. “Why?” 

She clutched his shirt and rested her head against his chest. “You promised.” Her words were muffled, but he heard her loud and clear. 

“Julie, are you sure?” 

She nodded. “It’s not going to be like… like that.” 

She didn’t say it, but he heard it anyway. It’s not going to be like lovers. Because that’s not what they were. 

“It’ll be more like roommates,” she continued. She didn’t say ‘for now,’ but Luke prayed that was what she meant. “You can have one of the guest rooms, you get your own bathroom, that kind of thing.” She rolled onto her back and rubbed at her eyes. “I don’t want to do this alone, Luke. And as much as I love my family, my mom’s in a wheelchair, and that’s a lot of responsibility on my dad already.” She put her hand on her belly, covering his, which he still hadn’t moved. “This baby’s on us. Is us. Whatever happens, we need to be in this together. Whatever ‘together’ means at this point.” 

He squashed down a sudden burst of sadness. Julie told him up front she hadn’t forgiven him yet, and he’d accepted that. Now he had two choices: wallow in misery until he was no good to anyone, or suck it up and work his butt off until he earned her trust back. 

He’d do what he had to to show Julie he loved her until they were both ready for him to say it. 

He sat up, remembering what she’d said right before they’d fallen asleep. “Were you really throwing up all day?” 

A bitter laugh clicked from her throat. “‘Morning sickness’ is the worst misnomer in the history of the English language. Whoever coined it was obviously a sadist.” 

Luke couldn’t stop his smile. “I see. How are you feeling now?” 

“Hungry. But I have no idea what I can eat that won’t make me sick.” 

“When in doubt, BRAT diet.” 

Julie raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” 

“The BRAT diet. Bananas, rice, apples, toast. Gives you all the nutrients you need but is gentle enough to not upset your stomach too much.” He grinned. “Food poisoning will make you an expert on ways to never barf ever again.” 

Julie giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound Luke had ever heard. “I still don’t think Reg and Alex ever forgave you for the ‘Street Dog Incident.’” 

“Nah, they still bring it up any time I have an idea. Ever.” He got up and pulled the covers back over Julie. “I’ll go see what you have and whip you up something bland and settling.” He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, but stopped just before his lips brushed her skin. It was awkward and hurt like hell, but he knew that was not his place for now. So he bumped their foreheads together for a moment, then went to the kitchen. 

After boiling some rice and slicing an apple and banana, they both settled at Julie’s kitchen table for a boring but filling dinner. 

“You feel up for a drive?” Luke asked, gathering their dishes and putting them in the sink. 

“Yeah. But can we take my car? Your truck hits potholes like it’s trying to jump over them, and I don’t want to have to jump three feet to get out when I puke everywhere.” 

When they stumbled into his condo twenty minutes later, Luke had to stop and breathe for a second. He’d only been gone a few hours, and absolutely nothing had changed. His coffee mug still sat in the sink, half full, exactly where he’d left it that morning when he realized he couldn’t stay away from Julie a second longer. Random jackets, shoes, and books still littered every flat surface, and his guitar still sat in its corner. 

Everything was exactly the same, but it was like he was trying to put on a shirt he’d forgotten he owned for five years only to see that it no longer fit. The Luke who had left his house that morning was gone, just like the Luke who joined his parents for dinner six weeks ago was gone after Mitch’s confession. Neither of them knew what it was like to be a father; neither of them knew what it was like to be in love with Julie. And neither of them were coming back.

No loss as far as Luke was concerned. 

By the time they got him packed up and headed back to Julie’s, it was close to nine o’clock. 

Luke chose the guest room next door to Julie’s master bedroom, just in case she needed him during the night. Once he set his bags down, she retreated to her room and shut the door. 

Okay. It was only day one. It was only day one. 

Getting ready for bed in Julie’s house, knowing that he probably wouldn’t move back into his condo, was weird. But good. 

Falling asleep in Julie’s house knowing that he probably wouldn’t move back to his condo, though? That was hard. He tossed and turned for half an hour before he finally got comfortable enough to settle in. 

His mind danced on the edge of sleep when he heard his door open and close. His eyes cracked open, but it was so dark he couldn’t see anything. Then his blankets and mattress shifted as someone crawled in bed beside him. 

Julie. 

She didn’t say a word, she just slotted herself next to him, resting her head on his chest and hooking her leg around his. Luke wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips into her soft, damp hair. 

He had no idea how long she would stay, but he would hold her until she decided to leave.

She didn’t. And he didn’t even try to quell his joy.

They weren’t fixed yet. They wouldn’t be fixed for a long time, and even if (no, when) they managed to glue themselves back together, the cracks would be visible for the rest of their lives. But that was okay. What was it Julie always said? 

“The cracks will give it character.” 

Or something like that. 

Eventually, they both drifted off, held together by dreams and hope, chipped and scuffed, but still strong.


	3. Gather the Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bubble Julie and Luke have created bursts; it’s time to tell their families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o, fellow travelers! 
> 
> Here is chapter three. I’m wicked tired right now, so I hope what I have makes sense to you like it does in my head. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Take care, and much love to you, whoever you may be! 
> 
> ~Courty

The moon still hung high in the sky when Luke woke to Julie ripping herself from his arms and stumbling out into the hall. The thick sounds of vomiting met his ears before he’d even gotten out of bed. 

Luke followed her to the hall bathroom — his bathroom, now — and crouched next to her. She held her own hair, and he didn’t know what else to do, so he gathered it from her hand and rubbed her back. 

Without lifting her head, Julie flushed the toilet and collapsed onto her folded arm. “Ugh, I kind of hate you right now. I hope you realize that.” 

Even though he smiled her words cut deeper than she probably meant them to. She had every right to hate him. He would understand if she never wanted to speak to him again. But he wouldn’t apologize, because she’d made it clear that she’d heard the first one and didn’t need to hear it again. 

Exhaustion crept through his mind and body, one so bone deep he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back to sleep. And he’d only known about the baby for fifteen hours; Julie had been living with this for at least a couple of weeks now, and she’d been doing it alone. 

“Don’t go down that road, Luke,” Julie whispered, sitting up to look at him. 

“What?” 

Her lips curved in a tired smile. “You have your, ‘I’m going to beat myself up until I’m nothing but a walking bruise’ face on.” She slid her fingers through his messy, tangled hair. “Don’t go there.” 

He met her eyes and leaned into her touch. “That’s not a face that I have.” 

Her gentle giggle sent a thrill through his stomach. “Yes it is. And I’m telling you, you don’t have to do that.” She tilted her head and moved her hand to his cheek. “You’re still here. And I didn’t wake up alone.” 

Luke had always hated how Julie could practically read his mind. It was unnerving, having someone know what his thoughts were before he’d totally puzzled them out himself. But right now, as they sat together on the bathroom floor (his first experience with morning sickness), he clung to it. Their connection, while different, was still the most powerful connection he had with another person, and the chasm he’d dug between them didn’t look quite so wide anymore. 

He reached out and brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek. Her smile was soft, until another bout of nausea twisted her face and she ducked her head back into the toilet. 

The minutes ticked by. Julie finally leaned back and drew in a few shaky breaths. 

Luke ran his hand over her curls. “Think you’re done?” 

She cleared her throat and winced at what he was sure was the awful taste in her mouth. “For now. Ugh, barfing is the worst.” She glanced up at the bathroom counter. “Will it totally weird you out if I ask to use your mouthwash? I ran out this morning.” 

He chuckled, his first genuine laugh in a while. “All yours boss.” He stood and offered her his hand. “Feel okay enough to stand?” 

She nodded and let him help her up. When she was done rinsing her mouth out, she braced herself on the counter and squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Jules?” 

“I’m okay. I just want to go back to bed.” She stepped out of the bathroom and headed toward her bedroom. 

Luke followed her and waited in the hallway, unsure where to go from there. Everything in him demanded he wrap Julie in his arms, pull her back to his room, and sink down into his bed, but this was her show right now. He followed her lead; what he wanted or needed from her didn’t matter and wouldn’t for the foreseeable future. 

As she opened her door, Julie threw him an almost apologetic smile. “I’m going to try and sleep in here for a bit. You’re just a little too hot for me right now.” 

In spite of the heavy sadness pressing down on his shoulders, he managed to raise an eyebrow. “I’m too hot?” 

The wince on Julie’s face was perfect. “Temperature. I meant temperature. You’re like a freaking furnace.” She shook her head at him and stepped into her room. “Go back to sleep, Luke. I have a feeling today is going to be a little rough, and we need all the rest we can get.” 

Oh. Right. Today their parents found out that they were going to be grandparents. Today he got to tell Ray and Rose, two of his favorite people, that he’d gotten their daughter pregnant because he was hurting, and he wanted to forget his own pain by hurting someone else. Nevermind that she was already hurting with him like the amazing friend and person she was. It hadn’t been enough for him. 

And then there was his own mom… 

He nodded and walked back to his door. Yeah, they both needed more sleep. “Good morning, Julie.” He said it like a goodbye. 

“Good morning, Luke.” 

The room felt horribly large without her there. As he lay on his back, eyes trained on the ceiling without really seeing anything, he could still feel Julie pressed up against him, his arms wrapped around her like a shield. But his arms were empty, and they ached for her touch again. All of him ached for her. 

It astonished him, how quickly he’d gone from wanting to be around her all the time because she was his best friend to wanting _her_ all the time because she was her. But if he was being honest with himself, that ache had actually begun long before, hadn’t it? Sure, he’d only just admitted that he was in love with her, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he’d been falling in love with her for years. Heck, he’d always said they’d get married someday when they were little, and Julie would just laugh and say he had a lot of work to do before he earned her love. How had he been stupid enough not to see it for so long? 

The answer was in the question. He was just stupid when it came to Julie and always had been. On so many levels. 

The sun crept over the horizon, and he watched the room get lighter and lighter as a new day finally dawned. He stayed in bed, though, listening for any sound that told him Julie was up and about. But the hall remained silent. 

Finally, his stomach made a noise that was not normal, and he couldn’t ignore the pressure in his bladder anymore. He rolled out of bed and opened his door, almost colliding with Julie as she made her way toward the stairs. 

“Julie!” He grasped her waist tenderly, eyes scanning her for bruises, cuts, or signs of a concussion. 

“Luke, what are you doing?” 

“I’m-” He stopped. He was panicking, that’s what. “I - uh…” 

Julie giggled and pushed him off of her. “You can’t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Try to wrap me in bubble wrap and panic every time I get bumped. I’m pregnant, not broken, and still very much a strong, independent woman.” 

He smiled down at her and wrapped her in a hug, which she returned. “Yes, you are. And I’m glad I get to know you.” 

They had breakfast (which Julie lost the first time, but managed to keep down the second time) and got ready, but neither of them knew what to do after that. They laid their phones on the coffee table, then settled on Julie’s couch next to each other, staring at the devices as if they’d make the decision. 

“Should we just… Drive somewhere and call them?” Luke asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

Julie wrinkled her nose. “Why drive somewhere?” 

“So we can tell them, hang up, and hide.” 

The look Julie gave him was almost enough to make him laugh. But only almost. “Please tell me you’re kidding.” 

“Of course I’m kidding, Jules.” Kind of.

“One thing I do know is I don’t want to tell this story more than we have to. We already have to do this again when we tell Flynn and the guys. If we can figure it out, can we try to tell our parents all at once?” 

Crap. He hadn’t even thought about telling the others. Flynn was going to kill him. You know, if Reggie didn’t get to him first. 

Focus. First things first. Parents. 

“Why don’t you ask your parents if they’d be cool with inviting Mom and me over for dinner tonight? They’ve tried for the last few weeks, but I haven’t been able to make myself face them.” He still wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it, but at least this time he knew Julie would be by his side the whole time. 

Julie nodded, but she didn’t reach for her phone. 

Luke squeezed her shoulder. “Are you going to call them?” 

“How are you staying so calm?” 

He hadn’t expected that. At all. She thought he was calm? He was everything you could possibly be _but_ calm. 

He leaned down and whispered, “Julie, I’m not calm. I’m scared. Like, wicked scared. I’m scared of being a father, I’m scared I’ll become exactly what my dad became, and I am terrified of how I feel about you. But I promised you that I would be here, and I will be, no matter what that requires of me. Because I...” His words caught in his throat. 

She turned her gaze to him, her eyes sparkling with tears. “You…” 

He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “I…” He had to tell her the truth. Not _the_ truth, but something true. “I care about you, Julie. A lot more than I’m probably supposed to.” 

Her arms were suddenly around his neck, pulling him closer, impossibly closer. He let his own arms slide to her waist and pulled her to him, burying his face in her shoulder. 

They sat like that for a long time, just soaking in the fact that the other was finally there. 

Julie leaned over and brushed his ear with her lips. “I care about you, too.” She pulled back and met his eyes. “And I don’t believe for even a second that you’ll become like your dad. So put that out of your mind forever. I never want to hear it again.” 

He searched her gaze, unsure what he was looking for. “I know you still haven’t forgiven me for leaving you for so long, but-”

“No, I haven’t. And I may not for a long time. But I want you to know that, forgiven or not, I want you here. I need you here.” She reached for his hand and slipped it toward her stomach, pressing it to the very spot he’d kissed the evening before, her eyes never leaving his. “ _We_ need you here.” 

He nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I’ll be here. No matter what happens, I’ll be here.” 

She smiled, then she turned to the coffee table and picked up her phone, calling her mom. 

Luke wrapped his arms around her waist, careful to keep his hand right on the spot where Julie had placed it, and rested his chin on her shoulder. 

Rose picked up after three rings. “Julie, _mija_ , it’s so good to hear from you. Where have you been?” 

“Julie?” Ray’s voice was muffled, but the happiness in it was clear. “Julie! How are you, sweetheart?” 

“I’m good, Dad. And I’m sorry I’ve been so scarce lately, Mom. Luke and I have been busy, um... creating something new."

Wow. She actually went there. 

“New songs? Really? For who? I didn’t know anyone had approached you and Luke to write anything for them recently.” 

“It’s for us, actually.” 

_Us_. 

“You? But sweetheart-”

“Hey, Mom, can we not do this right now? I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Okay. What’s up?” 

“Can we invite Luke and Emily over for dinner tonight? I think they could use a break from dealing with everything.” 

“Of course, _mija_. We’ve had Emily over a couple of times since the divorce, but Luke…” 

Julie nodded, covering one of his hands with hers. “He’ll come. I promise this time, he’ll come.” 

“Okay. Do you want me to call Emily?” 

Julie looked to Luke, but he shook his head. “No, we’ll take care of it.” 

“All right. We’ll see you around six. _Te amo, mi corazon_.” 

“I love you too, Mom.” 

Julie hung up and breathed a sigh. “Two down.” 

Luke grabbed his phone and called his mom. Putting the phone to his ear, he gave Julie’s waist a gentle squeeze. “One to go.” 

***

At six o’clock on the dot, Luke pulled his truck up to the Molinas’ house. 

Julie moved to get out, but Luke grabbed her hand to stop her. These were the last moments they had before their secret was no longer a secret. He wasn’t even used to this new reality yet, and the world was about to change forever again. He wanted to spend just one more moment where this life, this baby, this growing _something_ , belonged to just Julie and him. 

Julie laced her fingers through his. “You okay?” 

No. He most definitely was not. “They’re going to hate me.” 

“If they hate you, they’ll have to hate me too, Luke, and they’re not going to do that.” 

“But Julie, I’m the one who pressured you into…” 

Once again, a tiny, three letter word was almost impossible for him to force out. Why was he having such a hard time saying the word ‘sex?’ They’d had sex. It was just the thing that had happened between them that had led them to this moment. 

But it wasn’t _just_ sex, was it? From the moment it happened, it had never been just sex. And with Julie, if it ever happened again, it never would be just sex. 

She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. “No, Luke. You asked, and I said yes. I could have said no at any moment, and you would have stopped. I know that for a fact. But I didn’t. I already told you, this baby is on us. Not you, us. And I have known that since I found out I was pregnant. Is that clear?” 

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. If Julie had said no, he would have accepted that, no questions. Still...

“Stop.” She rubbed his cheeks with her thumbs. “Luke, this ends right now, okay? If you have to beat yourself up over something, then make it about the fact that we slept together, and then you left and didn’t talk to me for over a month. And you’re here now, making up for it every second. But other than that? This is not. Just. On. You.” 

He swallowed, but nodded again. “Okay.” 

And that was that. 

When they went inside, Ray pulled them both into a huge ‘signature Ray Molina’ bear hug that nearly broke Luke’s heart. But a firm squeeze from Julie’s hand gave him the courage he needed to return it and laugh at whatever weird dad joke Ray made. 

In the kitchen, Emily and Rose were seated at the table. Emily jumped up and threw her arms around her son, squeezing him for all she was worth. All her hugs had been like that since Mitch left, as if she was holding onto Luke as tightly as she could so he didn’t leave too. 

He hugged her back just as hard, loving her even more in that moment. Just like with Julie, he wasn’t going anywhere. “Hey, Mom.” 

“Hey, kiddo.” She released him, then tilted her head. “You okay?” 

He’d never had a poker face. Luke Patterson was nothing if not completely transparent, whether he was singing or speaking or just watching a dust mote float through the air. Anyone who had working eyes and a pulse could tell when something was on his mind, good or bad. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. It’s been a long few weeks.” 

Emily nodded, and Luke could only hope she thought he meant the divorce. Mitch had packed himself up and signed the papers without a fuss, leaving the house, Emily’s car, and most of their money to Emily. No one had heard from him since he’d taken Sandy to Chicago, and Luke didn’t care if he never heard from him again. 

“Luke, it’s so good to see you!” Rose said. “Come give me a hug, nerd!” 

Rose had rolled her wheelchair up and pulled Luke down into an awkwardly angled but warm embrace. “I hope you’ve been keeping Julie company in that big house of hers,” she whispered, winking as she let him go. 

Luke had to will his cheeks not to heat up. Rose had been a ‘Luke-and-Julie’ fan for years, always privately joking about Luke getting his act together and asking her little girl to marry him already. She’d never been pushy, and Luke had always thought she was mostly kidding. Now? Rose didn’t know it, but that joke was no longer a joke. 

“I’ve actually been kind of a hermit for a while. I just had some stuff I needed to work my way through alone. But I’m back now. And I’m definitely sticking around for the foreseeable future.” At least he could say that with a clear conscience. 

Rose smiled and patted his cheek. “Excellent to hear, _mijo_.” She turned back to the table and wheeled back to her spot. “I hope you’re hungry, because Ray and I made enough chicken tortilla soup to feed an army.” 

Actually his stomach was tossing and turning to the point that he’d probably follow Julie if she got sick again. “Starving.” 

As far as conversation went for dinner, Luke was surprised at how normal it was. He and Julie managed to keep things light, and he was even able to enjoy his soup. 

But it couldn’t last forever. Julie pressed her leg to his, and he pressed back. They’d come for a reason, and there was no sense dragging it out. It was time. 

Emily and Ray were in the middle of a heated debate about which lense was the best to photograph flowers, and Rose just rolled her eyes from her spot between them. 

Luke sighed. No turning back now. 

“Uh, Mom, Rose, Ray? We-” He cleared his throat. “We have something we need to tell you.” 

Rose immediately picked up on the weight in Luke’s voice and she swatted her husband and her friend at the same time. “Shut up, both of you.” She tilted her head. “Luke, is everything all right?” 

Luke squeezed his eyes shut, imagining just for a moment that he and Julie were having this conversation in a completely different context. They were married and excited to tell their parents (all of their parents, because Dream Mitch was still very much in love with Dream Emily) about what was coming. 

He met each of their eyes. Then he said the two scariest words he could ever imagine saying. 

“Julie’s pregnant.”

Rose and Ray immediately zeroed in on their daughter, who held her ground despite how her lip trembled. 

Ray was the first to speak. “Julie… Are you sure, _mija_?” 

Emily’s gaze hadn’t moved from Luke. Unlike Julie, he couldn’t look at her. She didn’t say anything, but he was sure she knew. 

Julie nodded. “I took four tests. Every single one was positive.” 

Rose shook her head. “Yeah, but false positives happen all the time.” 

“I’m also about a month late, and when three o’clock rolls around this soup will probably end up in the toilet.” 

Ray clutched his head in his hands, but Rose watched her daughter carefully. “Julie,” she said, “you never even told us you were seeing anyone. Who…” 

Here it came. Luke’s chest began to ache.

Ray’s head shot up and he focused right on Luke. Rose followed suit, her eyes begging Luke to tell her Ray was wrong. 

If only he could. He swallowed around the huge lump in his throat and nodded. “Yeah. The baby’s mine.” 

Ray’s brow furrowed. “How long have you two been together?” 

Oh yeah. He forgot about explaining that part. 

Julie opened her mouth, closed it again, then tried again. “We… We aren’t. Together, that is.” 

The pain in his chest spiked, but he ignored it because that was the truth. They weren’t together. Not like that anyway. 

Emily stood up, the scrape of her chair against the kitchen tile startling everyone else out of their silent staredown. “Ray, Rose, would you mind if I stepped outside for a moment? I need to have a word with my son.” 

Luke suddenly felt like the scrawny twelve-year-old he was not so long ago, when he had to tell his mom he’d failed a math test because he was writing a song instead of studying. He didn’t want to have this conversation; the first thing Emily would ask was when it happened, and then she would blame herself for it, just like she blamed herself for Mitch leaving. Luke didn’t want her to put that on herself, but he followed her out the back door anyway. 

The quiet of the early evening was pierced by the chirping of crickets. The sun had already sunk below the horizon, but that small splash of pink against an ever-darkening blue still hung on. The moon and Venus were the only bodies visible in the sky. 

Any other night and he would set up his old hammock and pull Julie out to join him in enjoying the evening breeze. But not tonight. 

Emily stood with her back to him, a hand over her mouth as she stared at the fading sunlight. 

“Mom-”

She held out a finger and shook her head. “Give me a moment, Luke.” 

He shut his mouth. 

Finally, after what felt like hours, Emily turned around. “Luke, when did this happen?” 

The question was one he’d expected, but it still turned his stomach to think of answering it. “The night Dad left.” 

A sob burst from Emily’s lips. “What?” 

“Don’t, Mom. None of that was your fault.” Luke touched her arm and motioned for her to sit on the Molina’s porch swing. He collapsed next to her and put his head in his hands, scrubbing away at the very stubborn tears forming in his eyes. 

“Luke, why?” 

“Because I’m as selfish as dad. I was broken and hurt by the hand life dealt me, and instead of dealing with it and moving on like a normal person, I went to Julie’s, slept with her, got her pregnant, and left.” 

He’d thought all of that before, but saying it to his mother, out loud, caused a rip in his soul that he didn’t think would heal. 

A soft hand rested on his shoulder, and Luke leaned into his mom, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “Mom, I messed everything up,” he confessed, not sure how else to express the despair that was consuming every part of his mind. 

Emily brought her arm up and rubbed her son’s back, wrapping the other around him in a gentle hug. “Yeah, this is definitely not an ideal situation, especially for two people as young as you.” She touched his chin and drew his head up so she could see his face. “But it’s not the end of the road,” she whispered. “You and Julie… Well, that’s been a long time coming. And I know you’re going to make amazing parents.” 

Parents. That was the first time he’d used that word to describe them together. He’d thought of himself as a dad and Julie as a mom countless times the night before, when he would wake up and talk to the nugget, Julie wrapped firmly around him. But _parents_ was them together. He and Julie were forever linked by this little life growing inside of her that they created. And he couldn’t let his insecurities and fear get in the way of that, not anymore. 

“I’m sure going to try,” he said, leaning his head against his mom’s. 

Emily wrapped her arms around one of his. “I’m delighted to hear it.” 

Luke shot his mom a half smile. “And what do you mean “that’s been a long time coming?’”

The return smile on Emily’s face was probably the first real smile he’d seen on her in weeks. And oh, how he’d missed it. But as soon as it appeared it was gone. “Luke, I need to know something. Do you love Julie? Not like a best friend, I know that’s true. No, I mean do you _love_ her? So much that you’re willing to make what’s best for her your number one priority for the rest of your life.” 

Luke smiled. He didn’t even have to think. “Yeah. I do.” 

“Then, from where I’m standing, all three of you are going to be okay.” 

He grinned at his mom. “Yeah. I think we will too.” 

“So tell me,” Emily continued, “what’s the plan from here?” 

Luke opened his mouth to answer, but ended up shaking his head. “Other than ‘keep it?’ We’re not sure. Julie and I went to my place and got most of my stuff, and I moved into one of her guest rooms. We both figured that would be easier than driving back and forth.” 

Emily nodded, but her eyes were serious. “Luke, I want you to promise me something.” 

He’d been asked to make so many promises in the last day, by both his mother and the woman he desperately loved. How could he say no? 

“Name it.” 

“You tell her how much you love her before you allow anything like this to happen again.” 

He pulled his mom to him and planted a kiss on her temple. “You got it, Mom.” 

Luke was going to do things right this time. He and Julie may be permanently linked by a third person, but that didn’t mean he was off the hook for showing her just how much he truly loved her. 

He would spend the rest of his life showing her exactly that, every second of every day. And there was no trying involved this time. 

That was a promise he _knew_ he could keep.


	4. Keep on Tryin’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke has a heart to heart with Ray, and he and Julie start a new tradition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, fellow travelers! 
> 
> All I can say is I’m pretty proud of this chapter. I didn’t proof it, because I didn’t want to freak out and change anything. So if there are any egregious errors, feel free to let me know in the comments. 
> 
> The chapter title and song included in the chapter are both from “Keep on Tryin’” by Poco. 
> 
> Take care, and love to you all! 
> 
> ~Courty

Luke didn’t want to go back inside. Telling his mother what happened was one thing. Even if she thought he was an idiot, he was her son and he knew she’d love him no matter what. 

Julie’s parents had no such obligation. Sure, after his and Julie’s fifteen year friendship, they were his other parents, but at the end of the day, he wasn’t blood. No matter how much he knew they loved him, Julie would rightfully always come first. And once they heard the story, the full story, all they would know was that their daughter had been hurt, and in this case, in their eyes, he was the bad guy. Hell, in _his_ eyes he was still the bad guy, no matter what Julie or his mom said. 

“Luke?” Emily squeezed his hand as he paused in front of the closed back door. “We have to go back inside and talk to them. _You_ have to talk to them.” 

May it never be said that Emily Patterson was anything less than an amazing mother who raised her son to clean up his own messes while still standing there with him, cheering him on. 

“I know.” He took one last, long look at the door in front of him. It was navy blue, with blue footprints and splatters littering the porch in front of it. Rose decided on the color the summer before Luke and Julie started eighth grade. She’d (probably unwisely) left the job of painting it up to the two thirteen-year-olds while she’d taken Carlos, Julie’s little brother, to a doctor’s appointment. 

Luke could still remember how they’d started out well, finishing the job in about an hour. But then Luke accidentally planted his bare foot in the paint pan and, when Julie laughed at him, took a brush and swiped a huge blue streak across Julie’s cheek. The Great Navy Battle of 2013 had commenced with numerous casualties (that poor potted fern never did recover) and two one-week groundings. But Julie and Luke just waved at each other as Luke’s dad (Mitch. Not ‘dad,’ Mitch) drove him home that night, their smiles telling each other that it was totally worth it. What was a week of separation when theywere thirteen, immortal, and had all the time in the world?

(Rose’s accident happened less than a week later. Julie and Luke were no longer grounded. And they no longer believed that they were immortal.)

He put a hand on the doorknob but couldn’t push it open. Luke had grown up in this house as much as he had his own. Rose taught him everything he knew about guitar inside these walls; Ray taught him the intricacies of photography and how to bake the perfect piña colada poke cake (Julie’s favorite); Luke had played hours and hours of board games, video games, and sports with Carlos until he loved him like his own little brother. How could he go back in there, knowing he was about to tear every brick and every memory down until there was nothing left but rubble. No matter what story the Molinas told or memory they wanted to share, he would forever be their daughter’s idiot best friend who knocked her up when they were twenty-one. 

Emily’s hand curled around his, and she helped him turn the knob. “It’s time, sweetheart. I’m sure we can sort this out.” 

_Here we go._

The Molina kitchen sounded like a warzone when Luke and Emily walked inside. Julie and Ray stood toe to toe, faces red, Spanish firing back and forth between them like cannon balls. 

After fifteen years around the Molina house, Luke was practically fluent in Spanish, and his stomach sank when he heard Ray yelling about how Julie could let a failed musician into her pants when she’s so much smarter than that. 

Rose sat between them, snapping that Luke was part of their family and they needed to hear him out. Ray backed down a little, taking a step away from Julie. Even from her chair, Rose was a force almost no one could stand against. 

Tears flowed down Julie’s cheeks, but judging by the fierce glare she leveled at her father, they were tears of fury, not sadness. As soon as she caught sight of Luke and Emily, she tore away from her father and threw herself into his arms. 

“And you,” Ray roared, switching back to English and turning on Luke. “I never thought you’d be the type to go and screw your best friend, my _daughter_ , just because you were pissed at your dad! What were you thinking? Do you not have enough women falling all over you already?”

That accusation hurt. More than anything else, that stabbed a place in his heart he only just now realized was the spot he had reserved for Ray. “Ray,” Luke started, letting go of Julie and taking a step forward. “You know I’ve never been like that-”

“I did!” Ray’s frigid blue glare shot another blazing arrow through his heart. “But after this? I’m not sure I know you at all.”

“Dad!” Julie shouted. 

Luke didn’t hear anything else. Just like the night Mitch left, he didn’t remember leaving the room, but suddenly found himself sitting on the Molinas’ front porch, tearing at his hair as tears poured from his eyes. Julie by his side or not, he couldn’t do this. How did he think he could pull this off and come out relatively unscathed. Ray hated him, that was plain as day, and he had every right to. How had he or Julie thought this would end any differently? 

Luke had no idea how long he sat out there. The sun disappeared long before, and the moon hung high and bright when the front door opened. 

“Julie, I’m really not in the mood for a pep talk.” 

“Good. Because I’m really not in the mood to give one.” 

Luke whipped around, every nerve in his body yelling, _Run!_ “Ray.” 

The older man shut the door behind him and slid his hands into his pockets. “Mind if I sit?” 

“Depends. Are you hiding your .45 on you anywhere?” 

Ray raised an eyebrow. “Do I need to be?” 

The small smile he shot Luke said he had calmed down and was ready to talk. Luke smiled back and shook his head. “No.” He patted the spot next to him. 

Ray blew out a long sigh as he settled on the steps next to Luke. 

“What made you come out here?” 

“Julie and Rose yelled at me. A lot. Julie reminded me that she is a grown woman who has never allowed anyone to pressure her into anything she didn’t want to do, and Rose reminded me of a very significant part of our personal story. I realized after that I needed to get my head out of my butt and listen to you.” 

“What do you mean? You have every right to be furious with me.” Luke looked away, playing with a string hanging off the rip in his jeans. “I would be if it was my daughter.” 

But Ray held up a hand. “No, actually I don’t.” 

Um… “What?” 

Judging by the way he ran a hand through his hair, Ray was nervous. Luke had never seen Ray nervous. “Ray?” 

“My father died two months before our wedding.” He laughed, but it was bitter and hateful. “He was fifty-eight years old, and just dropped dead. Aneurysm. He was my best friend and exactly the man I wanted to be when I grew up.” Ray leveled a pointed look at Luke. “I know you felt the same way about your dad.” 

It was true. Mitch was Luke’s hero. He was kind, fair, loved Emily fiercely, and supported Luke in everything he ever tried, be it soccer, or tae kwon do, or ultimately, guitar. The night Mitch left, that Mitch, his dad, died in Luke’s eyes. 

Ray nodded and draped an arm around Luke’s shoulders. “Yeah. The night it happened, the only person I wanted to see was Rose. We’d decided to wait until we were married to make love, but…” His eyes flicked to Luke. “Pain sometimes causes unwise choices.” 

Boy, did Luke know _that_ was true. 

“We found out about Julie three days before the ceremony.” 

That Luke hadn’t expected. His head snapped to Ray, eyes wide. “Seriously?” 

“It’s all true. We got married so soon after, I sort of… forgot.” Ray smiled. “As soon as Julie was born, I swore I would protect her with everything I had in me.” He squeezed Luke’s shoulder, but didn’t look at him. “Now it looks like it’s your turn. Is that your plan?” 

Luke met Ray’s eyes. “I’m going to take care of her and the baby, I promise. Julie means everything to me, and I don’t want to hurt her ever again. Ray, I-” His words faltered. He hadn’t said it out loud yet, that he loved Julie. He’d confirmed it when other people said it, but the words “I love Julie” had not passed his lips. Not to anyone but his unborn child, and even then, he’d been talking about both of them, telling them about how he loved them like family. But with Julie alone, the first time he said it, he wanted it to be to her. 

Ray closed his eyes and nodded. “It’s all right. I know you love her. I’ve known that for years.” He sent Luke a tired smile. “I’m guessing you haven’t told her yet?” 

“No. Not yet. But seriously, am I _that_ obvious? My mom said the same thing.” 

Ray laughed. “Both of you are.” 

That stopped Luke cold. “Both” Did that mean-

Ray’s face scrunched into a sympathetic smile. “Julie loves you too, Luke. She may not know how to show it right now, but she does. Always has.” 

No way. “She told you that?” 

“Eh, she’s never said it in so many words, but trust me. I know.” 

Luke didn’t know what to do with that. He could only stare at his shoes. 

Ray took a deep breath and squeezed Luke’s shoulder. “I would say welcome to the family, but…” He laughed. “You’ve been part of our family for over half your life.” 

“Even if I’m just a failed musician?” 

Ray winced. “I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it.” 

Luke chuckled. “Hey, if you can forgive me for this, I can forgive you for that.” Something else weighed on his heart, something he had to say before they went back inside. “Ray?” 

“Yeah?” 

Luke’s stomach flipped, but he pressed on. “You’re the only father I have now. And I don’t know how to be a good dad.” 

Ray pulled Luke into a hug without a word. “Don’t worry. As long as you’re not going anywhere, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Luke’s arms clutched at Ray, taking solace in the man who didn’t have to love him, didn’t have to forgive him, but did anyway. 

After a minute, Ray pulled away and tilted his head toward the door. “Come on. Julie warned me not to hurt you, and we need to show her I didn’t.” His eyes widened but lost focus. “Get ready, _mijo_. The blood runs hot in the Santos women, especially when they’re pregnant.” 

The rest of the time with their parents took steps toward a new normal. To say anyone was thrilled with the turn of events would be a complete lie. Rose scrunched her nose when Julie asked what she wanted to be called. “I’m not exactly excited about being a grandmother at forty-four,” she said, “but I guess now I know how my own mother felt.” She grinned. “Can she call me something cool, like Grams? _Abuela_ is nice, but I’m going to be a cool grandma.” To prove how cool she was, she rolled back and popped a wheelie in the middle of the kitchen. 

Emily nodded. “I’ll have to come up with something too. ‘Grandma’ just doesn’t cut it.” 

Julie giggled and turned to her dad. “What about you, Papi?” 

Ray shook his hands. “That is something we’ll figure out when we get a little closer to your due date.” His blue eyes widened. “Speaking of, when is your due date?” 

Luke met Julie’s gaze. “We’re not sure.”

“Oh, I suppose you two should schedule a doctor’s appointment,” Emily said, pulling out her phone. “I’ll text you the name of the OB in my medical group. You should probably call her in the morning.”

Luke’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he had to catch his breath. 

A doctor’s appointment. The first of many over the next eight months. And once again, Luke was hit with the understanding that this was real.

Julie squeezed his hand under the table. She didn’t speak, but the message in her eyes was clear: _You okay?_

He squeezed back and pressed his leg against hers, letting her know he was fine. 

They stayed in the sweet comfort of their little patchwork family until Julie gave an enormous yawn. 

Rose pulled Julie and Luke into a fierce hug and told them that they were going to be fantastic parents. Emily and Ray joined them and promised that they had their parents’ support every step of the way. 

Ray pulled away first and turned to Julie. “ _Mija_ , are you going to need someone to stay with you? Your mom and I can come for a few days.” 

Neither of them answered for a moment. Emily knew about their new living arrangements, but they hadn’t talked about it with Ray and Rose yet. Luke wasn’t sure how Ray especially would feel about him living with Julie, even if he didn’t plan on touching her like that again for a long, long time. 

“Julie?” Rose asked when they’d been quiet for too long. 

“Luke and I moved him in with me last night.” No fanfare, no lead up, just a pure and simple fact. Leave it to Julie. 

Ray stiffened. “Julie, I don’t know…” 

“Dad, I’m already pregnant. I don’t think Luke and I can get up to much more mischief than that.”

“You-” Ray started to argue, but stopped himself. “You have a point.” He leveled a serious look at them. “But please, promise me this one thing: no more funny business until certain decisions about where you both stand are made.” 

“Believe me, Papi, that is _definitely_ not something you have to worry about again any time soon,” Julie said, slicing her hand through the air as if to sever any thought of “funny business” from her father’s mind. 

Ray raised a knowing eyebrow at him. He nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

Satisfied with their answers, and after a promise from her parents to take care of telling Carlos, who was at a friend’s house that night, Ray, Rose, and Emily all waved as Luke backed his truck down the driveway and onto the street. 

The first few minutes of the ride home — wow, how quickly Julie’s house had become _home_ — were quiet as they both processed the way the night had played out. 

Finally, unable to stand the heavy silence anymore, Luke spoke. “That went surprisingly well.” 

“Yeah.” Julie stared out the windshield, her face pensive. “Did it go too well?” 

On impulse, Luke took her hand in his and raised her fingers to his lips. “Gift horse, Julie. Let’s just take this win where we can.” 

She laced her fingers through his and leaned back in her seat. “You’re right.” Luke couldn’t see her face, because he was focusing on the road, but he could definitely feel the sidelong glance she sent his way. “What did you and my dad talk about on the porch?” 

Luke grinned. “Well, I learned why your birthday and age are so very close to your parents’ wedding anniversary.” 

She laughed. “Yeah. Oh, Luke you should have seen the look on my dad’s face when Mom brought that up. ‘Priceless’ doesn’t even begin to cover it!” 

“I can only imagine.” 

They both laughed for a few moments, but when they settled back into a comfortable silence, Julie was the one to break the tension this time. “Did you and Dad talk about anything else?” 

Just that he loved her. And that everyone in their lives apparently knew but them. And that he didn’t want to say it until he said it to her. And that it wasn’t the right time yet. “Yeah. We did.” 

“Do I get to know what?” 

He kissed her fingers again. “Someday.” 

***

Luke trudged out of the bathroom that night ready to collapse into his bed and sleep until noon the next day. He glanced at the clock in the hallway and laughed. It was barely 11:30. He’d never gone to bed before two before this. Now? Not even the next day and he could barely keep his eyes open. 

Until he felt a small hand grip his. 

Julie stood behind him, eyes on their clasped hands instead of on him. 

“Julie?” He ducked to meet her eyes, but she still refused to look at him. 

“Jules?” he asked again when she stayed silent. 

“I feel so stupid,” she said. “I’m a grown woman, and I can’t seem to fall asleep by myself anymore.” 

Luke straightened and used their clasped hands to pull her into a hug. “And you don’t have to. Ever again.” 

“But I should be able to. I should be able to go to sleep alone. I’ve always slept alone. But I didn’t get even a minute of sleep this morning after I went back into my room.” 

“Neither did I.” He hoped his confession wouldn’t hurt her feelings, but she should know she wasn’t alone. Sleeping without Julie was something he didn’t think he could ever go back to. 

Julie pulled away a bit and looked up at him. “Would that be okay? If we just… Sleep together? Leave sex out of it, but just sleep?” 

Luke couldn’t think of anything he wanted more. “Of course.” He pressed his forehead against hers, allowing relief to wash over him. “And if you ever want some space, just say the word.” 

She nodded and took his hand again, pulling him into her room and shutting the door. 

They slid under her covers, and Julie tucked herself up under his arm like before, head resting on his chest. He lifted the arm wrapped around her and slid it over her soft curls, his other hand rubbing soft circles on her arm. 

“We’re going to be okay, you know,” she said, running her hand up and down his stomach. 

He looked down at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. We have a loving, supportive family, friends who are going to kick our butts and then shower us and our baby with love, affection, and gifts, a super successful songwriting business, and…” She paused. 

“And…” 

“Each other. We have each other.” 

“Yeah. Always each other.” He hoped. 

He felt more than saw her smile against his chest. Then she did the last thing he expected her to that night; Julie began to sing. 

_I've been thinkin' 'bout  
All the times you told me  
You're so full of doubt  
You just can't let it be, but I know  
If you keep comin' back for more  
Then I'll keep on tryin'  
I'll keep on tryin'_

Luke smiled. “Poco? What brought that on?” 

“I think we should sing a lullaby every night. We can write them down and use it as a bedtime playlist for when the baby comes. Something to help tell him or her whatever part of our story we were writing at the moment.” 

“And ‘Keep On Tryin’’ is telling what part?” 

She smiled up at him and pressed a kiss to his shirt, right over his heart. “That Daddy’s still scared we’re going to fall apart.” She gave a sleepy laugh and pressed another kiss to the same spot. “And that Mommy’s going to make all the doubts go away.” 

Daddy. Mommy. 

They were going to be a family. 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued the song. 

_And I've been drinkin' now  
Just a little too much  
And I don't know how  
I can get in touch with you  
Now there's only one thing for me to do  
That's to keep on trying  
To get home to you_

Somehow, Julie snuggled even closer to him. He could tell they were both falling away, but they were both determined to finish, their voices joining in the perfect harmony they’d always created together. They would sleep after. Just sleep. 

_And I feel so satisfied when I can see you smile, I  
I want to confide in all that is true  
So I keep on tryin'  
I'm through with lyin'  
Just like the sun above, I come shining through  
Oh yes, I keep on tryin'  
I'm tired of cryin'  
I got to find a way to get on home to you_


	5. In the Quiet of the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Julie talk in the morning and draw even closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, friends! 
> 
> This is a short one, but I wanted to try and get SOMETHING out, and this bit of pure spun sugar is what happened (WHAT??? Courty can write fluff without angst?? Heck YEAH she can!). 
> 
> If you read “Midnight at Mona’s,” then you know I’m going to be a bit behind in posting for a sec due to a surprise project for my job, but after March 15, it’s back to our semi-regular scheduled programming. 
> 
> Holla at a sista’ over on tumblr at quirky-little-penguin-blog if you’d like! I’m always up for a chat! 
> 
> Take care and lots of love to you! 
> 
> ~Courty

In the years to come, whenever Luke told his children and his grandchildren their story, he would start it with, “There is something supernatural about waking up in the morning next to the person whose soul fits perfectly with yours.” 

The first morning Luke woke up with Julie, he’d been turned away from her, shame, guilt, and loss pulling them apart even in sleep. 

The second morning Luke woke up with Julie, she’d sprinted from the room to throw up. 

But the third morning? For the rest of his life, the third morning he woke up with Julie would be the last thing he thought about when he went to sleep at night. 

He didn’t wake up on the cold, hard ground, shivering under a blanket and hating himself. He wasn’t jarred awake when the woman he loved bolted into the bathroom. And he didn’t have to lay in his bed and watch the sun come up because his empty arms wouldn’t allow him to sleep. 

There was no alarm clock blaring at him to get the day started, no smell of coffee coaxing him out of bed before he was ready. No, just the sun, pouring through the windows like liquid gold, luring him away from his dreams slowly, the way people were created to wake up. 

He noticed hair tickling his nose after the warmth of the sunlight. That was a new sensation. His hair had never been long enough for that, and before Julie…

Who was he kidding? There was no ‘before Julie.’ 

As the sun coaxed him further and further from sleep, the next thing Luke noticed was that his arms were full. So beautifully full he could have cried. There was no hollow ache, no desperate, barren want like the morning before. Just Julie, curled against him, head resting on his (very numb) left arm like a pillow, lips feathering against the sensitive skin in the crook of his arm, feet sliding against his shins as she fought waking up. 

Then he noticed his right hand. Somewhere in the night he’d slid it under the hem of her shirt to rest against the smooth skin of her stomach. Rest on their baby. 

Julie’s words from the night before echoed in his head. 

_“Daddy’s still scared we’re going to fall apart. Mommy’s going to make all the doubts go away.”_

He tightened his hold on Julie ever so slightly, slowly rubbing his hand on her belly. “Mommy does make all the doubts go away, doesn’t she, nugget?” A slow smile slid across his lips as he closed his eyes and nuzzled back into Julie’s shoulder. 

“That tickles.” Julie’s sleepy voice caught him off guard, and a violent wave of joy coursed through from his chest all the way to his fingertips. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to ride it out. 

He wanted this. Every day for the rest of his life, he wanted this. With her, no questions, no doubts, no fears. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, afraid to shatter the stillness. 

Julie scooted back, tucking herself further into him, and pulled his arm tighter around her stomach. “It’s all right. You don’t have to stop.” 

He rested his chin on her shoulder and pressed his cheek against hers. “Yeah, I do. Otherwise…” 

Julie smiled. “I know. Funny business.” 

“Funny business.” 

Julie yawned. “Maybe we should get up, then.” She stretched her arms out. “We have a few things we have to do today.” 

Yeah. They’d agreed on the ride home last night that they needed to make a doctor’s appointment. 

After that? It was telling their friends they were going to be parents. And that somehow made him more nervous than telling their own parents. 

Luke pulled her even closer and shook his head. “Not yet. Can we just stay like this for a little longer?” He slid his hand further under her shirt, his thumb stroking over the spot Julie had put his hand the day before, right over where the baby would be developing. “I don’t want to let either of you go yet.” 

“Are you always this needy?” 

Now there was a question. Luke thought about it for a moment. “I don’t really know. This is kind of the first time I’ve ever done anything like this.” 

Julie stilled. She was quiet for so long Luke wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. 

Just as he was about to ask her if she was okay, she rolled over to face him. “Really? You and Carrie never…” 

Whoa, this was new territory. In all the years they’d been friends, they’d never really discussed their individual love lives. Not that Luke had anything to tell. 

He chuckled and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. “Julie, I dated Carrie for two weeks in eleventh grade, and I was in a bad mood the whole time. Trust me, for that fourteen days, sex was the last thing on my mind.” 

Julie’s smug smile surprised Luke more than almost anything had in the last forty-eight hours. “Good.” She snuggled into his chest. “Not to sound petty, but you dating Carrie drove me nuts.” 

Luke laughed again. “I seem to remember a certain Nick Simmons catching your attention at the same time I was with Carrie.” 

“And did you notice that I was in a bad mood for the entire two weeks I was with him too?” 

He had. They’d both hated being around the other when Carrie and Nick were in the picture, and no matter how much they talked it out with Flynn or the guys, their sixteen-year-old brains couldn't wrap around the concept that they were mad because they were jealous. And not in a "quit taking up all my best friend's time" kind of way. 

“So you and Nick never did either?” 

She shook her head. “No.” 

“And there was never anyone else?” 

She gave a tired laugh. “How could there be?”

Another surge of joy threatened to push tears from his eyes, and he squeezed them shut until it passed. 

Julie touched his shoulder. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

She nodded. “Was there ever anyone else for you?” 

“Nah. After Carrie, I knew no one else could compare to you. And I wasn’t about to let you go for anything in the world.” He sighed. “Why did we do that to Carrie and Nick? That was so mean of us.” 

Julie blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Denial. At least on my part.” 

Every cell in Luke’s body felt like it froze. He gently pushed her away, just enough so he could look into her eyes. “Denial? Of what?” 

She held his gaze for an eternity. A soft smile lifted her lips, and she wiggled her finger between the two of them. "This." 

Anticipation coiled in his muscles. "And what exactly is 'this?'" It was way too soon to be asking this question, but this moment felt removed from the rest of time and space. Somehow, he knew that no matter what they said right now, it wouldn't affect the future he could so clearly see for them.

Was she ready to hear it? Was she ready to say it back?

She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, allowing his hand to stay on her stomach. "This is… What it is. The sorriest excuse for a 'just friends' friendship in human history, maybe?"

Ah. Not exactly the blatant, "I love you, Luke" he'd been hoping for. But still. He slid his hand off her stomach and rolled over to stare at the ceiling as well. "Have we ever been 'just friends,' Julie?" 

"Is that rhetorical, or are you genuinely asking?" 

He closed his eyes. "Had I asked that six weeks ago? Rhetorical, with a heaping helping of sarcasm. But after the night we…" Ugh, why couldn't he ever just come out and say it?

Because he couldn't say it properly. He'd already decided it wasn't just sex, but they hadn’t exactly made love either. That night was pain, sadness, and selfishness, and he still hated himself so much for that. But even in the midst of the self-loathing and anger, confusion and bad motivations, what happened between them meant something to him even before he found out about the baby. 

"Were together?" Julie finally offered. 

He exhaled a breath. "Yeah. Let's go with that." He cleared his throat. "I spent every single day hating myself and asking why it happened in the first place. I couldn't come up with a sufficient answer." 

"And now?" 

"Now I want to know what you think." 

She turned her head to face him and raised the hand lying between them up to run the back of her fingers across his cheek. "Luke, from the moment you pushed Joey Fenwick over for making fun of my glasses in first grade, I don't think we've ever been 'just friends.'" She drew in a deep breath and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. She rested her cheek on them and twisted around just enough to keep an eye on him. “And I know that, for the rest of our lives-” she placed a hand on her stomach “-especially now, we’ll never be ‘just friends.’” 

He raised on his elbows and searched her face carefully. “Is that something you’re okay with?” 

Julie lowered her eyes for a moment, then returned them to his. “I think it’s something I’ve never questioned.” She swallowed. “I think I’ve always…” 

He nodded quickly, letting her know he understood. “Yeah. Me too.” 

It wasn’t time. Not yet. 

“So,” Julie went on, “where do we go from here?” 

The ball was in his court. 

He held out his hand, and when she took it, he drew her back down next to him until she was flat on her back. Without a word, he moved further down the bed until he was level with her stomach and brushed his fingers against the hem of her tank top. He raised his eyes to hers, asking for permission. 

She inhaled a shaky breath, then nodded. 

He gently pushed her shirt up, careful to expose her stomach and nothing more. Then he closed his eyes and slid his lips across her skin, pressing a kiss over the spot they both kept coming back to, just above her right hip. “We take it slow,” he whispered, trailing kisses back and forth until Julie shuddered under his touch. He raised his head and smiled. That was enough. “We focus on our child, and we make sure we bring them into a life where they are safe, and cared for, and loved.” He moved away from her stomach and slid back to the head of the bed, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her forehead. 

Julie slid her arms around his waist and nodded. “And then?” 

He leaned back and gave her a small but true smile. “Then we let the rest of the pieces fall where they may.”


End file.
